Gandhi's have had it if they are Cyphers in May.
Saeed
Naqvi
Mullah Nasruddin
spread out his ornate carpet on the front lawn of his house. He did pushups on the carpet to become strong enough
to protect his house. . Meanwhile thieves from two separate gates behind him
tip toed into his house. Friendly neighbours at the front gate alerted Mullah
that his house was about to be burgled by two gangs.
Mullah laughed
at them with supreme nonchalance. “You are wrong that they are two gangs”, he
said. “They are together in this scheme
and I know what they are upto”.
“What are they
upto?” asked the neighbours.
“If I run to
chase out one group, the other will steal my carpet” said Mullah, rolling his
eyes cunningly, and did another pushup.
The neighbours
beat their breasts, even as they saw the burglers cart away every item in
Mullah’s house.
The Mullah story
possibly has universal application but caution may be in order before
transposing it on Rahul Gandhi’s athletic performance at the St.Joseph’s Higher
Secondary School, in Mulggumoodubin, Tamil Nadu. He left 10th grade
student, Meroli Shenigha, panting for breath in a competition. Rahul, 50 did 14
push ups in 10 seconds, something of a record.
Yen for physical fitness is in his DNA. His great
grandfather, Nehru’s, Yoga was incomplete without an extended shishasana or headstand.
But while Nehru was private about his exercises, the great grandson is demonstrative.
Nehru may also have been proud of his Kashmiri Pandit heritage, but never of ritual
religiosity. In his will , he shunned rituals for his cremation. His colleagues,
more “Hindu” than him, thought it unwise to have the last rites of the countrys first Prime
Minister, a Pandit to boot, be concluded without vedic ritual.
Taking his cue
from there, Rahul Gandhi’s most reliable town cryer Randeep Surjewala, declared
him a “Janeudhari” Brahmin, a declaration Rahul took to heart, touching base
with every temple in town. Not to be outdone, sibling Priyanka, too has been
wearing tilaks on her forehead, large enough for a Yogini. She has been dipping
in holy rivers in severe cold. If her brother has added gymnastics to his repertoire,
Priyanka has fallen back on ethnic tourism in fancy dress. With expert ease she
plucked “two leaves and a bud” in Assam’s tea plantations.
The Gandhi
siblings are busting their guts to hold onto the carpet as in the Mullah story.
As for the Congress party (The House), senior members have already bolted and
joined the BJP. The remainder are running helter skelter because the Gandhi
family is unwilling to show them the road ahead. It is possible they themselves
do not know.
Their Gandhi’s state
of funk may have been enhanced last week by Gujarat where, contrary to the
promise of 2017, the Congress has been beaten to pulp by the BJP in Local Bodies
Elections. Indeed, new entrants, AAP and Owaisi have impressively opened their
accounts.
The G23 Congress rebels are what rural folk
in North India call Shivji Ki Barat, representing all manner of fauna. Ghulam
Nabi Azad has been grieving since atleast the 2019 elections: “They are not
asking me to campaign”. Those were days when Rahul, as Congress President had
resorted to practical politics : he would not be seen with Muslims during
elections because that would enable the BJP to polarize the vote.
What Rahul appears not to have learnt since then
is that policies and strategy, not
tricks, build a party’s elan. When in the 2019 general elections, the BJP won
303 seats as opposed to Congress’s 52, Rahul owned up to his responsibility and
resigned as Party President.
A chapter in
Congress’s and the nation’s political history was over. Or so one had thought.
But no, his cohorts like Surjewala would dance around him with deafening chants
of “Congress revival”.
Kuchch to hotey hain Mohabbat mein
junoon ke aasaar,
Aur Kuchch log bhi deewana bana
detey hain
(as it is, there are signs of monomania
in obsessive Love,
Self serving busy bodies further
enhance this streak )
Slowly, one saw
him trek back from political wilderness,
to attempt, like Sisyphus, the climb again without ever bothering to ask – why is
there so much focus on a leader with 52 members in a House of 545? Why does a
media owned by industrialists and controlled by the ruling party, heap such generous
attention on the Gandhis?
Because they are no threat. Anything of a
leftist hue, with the capacity to mobilize the people on a platform of roti, kapra, makaan, healthcare, universal
free education, must be thwarted. By this criteria, the Congress is no threat.
Policy differences between the BJP and the Congress are minimal. Foreign,
economic, even social policies are more or less similar. The BJP’s Anti Muslim
stance is for Hindu consolidation. The Congress’s studied neglect of Muslims serves the same
purpose, only with better table manners. Also, Gandhis and the residual
Congress serve as an essential counterpoint in the BJP’s musical score.
Essentially, the
establishment has a high comfort level with two ruling class parties. One of
them may be down and out, but it must remain in occupation of that slot. A
vaccum will open up chances of confusing, unknown amalgamations, making a bid for power.
How long can
Mother, Son and his sister hang by a thread for sheer survival? G23 are at the moment,
willing
to wound and yet afraid to strike,
Just
hint a fault but hesitate dislike.
Hesitations may
well give way to a day of the long knives in May when results to elections in
West Bengal, Assam, Tamil Nadu, Kerala and Puducherry will be out. If the
Congress does well enough to preserve its self respect in even two of the five
states, the Gandhis may yet be able to
keep the carpet. But should they be trounced, in all five, well, they better
look out. Little wonder all round uncertainties are promoting a buzz about a
National Government, an absurd thought unless the RSS and India inc show
interest.
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